5 Reasons Why Cleaning Up Your Diet is a B***h and a Half


1. You have to refuse all those lunch or dinner “hangout” offers from your friends, and look like a total jerk because you keep canceling the day plans they make with you. You can’t help it though, because it’s either Chipotle or that flat tummy. And you know you want the Chipotle more at the moment, don’t even lie.

2. That leads into my next reason. Chipotle exists. You’re doomed if you’ve discovered it, already have a flat tummy and firm thighs if you haven’t. Bravo to the oblivious population of the world, because you are one step ahead in the sexy game. You’re a lucky case. Forget the name, don’t look them up, don’t talk about it with your friends, and don’t let ANYONE coax you into joining the rest of the world. You may never go back after you’ve tasted their guac.

3. Cravings make you want to punch a stranger in the face. You become increasingly hostile (and so unlike your naturally friendly, hilarious, wonderful self), especially when that stranger is eating what you’re wishing you could. (Do it and take their food. I won’t tell.)

4. The progress arrives slower that you’d expect, and you’d almost wished that you hadn’t had waited so long for one pound to get up and walk away. You work out until your stomach feels like it’s screaming for something satisfying, your head’s throbbing to the beat of the latest top 100 songs on itunes that the gym’sย blasting overhead, and that one pound decides to take a hike after the second week? Oh boy.

5. Deep down you know that people are gonna love you no matter if you’re a couple pounds lighter or not, and let’s be honest, if it’s a couple pounds, you can not be telling me that you’re crawling from the heaviness of it. Just chill out, indulge in moderation, and stop rainchecking people or they’re gonna wanna pound you in the face. I’m punny, I’m sorry. But for real though.

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