“I Want You So Bad I Can’t Breathe” by OK Go
“You And Only You” by We the Kings
“She Keeps Me Warm” by Mary Lambert
“The last time I saw her, she…” had her ruby hair pulled back in a messy bun, little strands poking out in all directions. I had always called it her fireworks hair, which made her laugh that sweet laugh of hers… Her calm, green eyes were focused intently on the laptop screen in front of her, working through the details of her latest novel, her pride and joy, her bare feet tapping, dancing to the beat of a new vinyl she’d been dying to show me. I could feel myself smiling at the thought of her excitement when she wrote, the twitches in her face as she concentrated. She was so beautiful then. So vibrant in her personality, an appreciative and gentle soul with a free spirit. Often I wondered if she were the reason the world was so colorful, as everything she touched came to life, rejuvenated with vigor. Her eyes caught mine, and they returned my smile above the screen. I arose from the couch across from her, her “oldie but goodie” leather couch she refused to let go of, eager to hold her, eager to wrap her in my arms and tell her that having her heart keeps mine beating. So proud of her, my beautiful girl, the love of my life, for all she is. As I reached out my hand toward her, I found her chair cold. In a panic, I felt myself grabbing the chair, my hands frantically searching it for my love. I closed my eyes tightly, my hands rising to my eyes, and fell to my knees at the foot of the desk she had so often wrote upon. Each morning, coffee in hand, she was there long before I was even awake….all for granted, how she was there to greet me with a coffee of my own…. How I could wake when I did, selfishly, and not spend every waking moment… how I slept without realizing I was wasting time…All this precious time, gone. Wetness, tears flowing uncontrollably down my cheeks. My face felt sticky and hot in my stress. It had to have been a nightmare. It couldn’t be real. She was here. Holding my heart, kissing every inch of my face, just yesterday. I can feel myself shaking….The ceiling is going to collapse on me, bury me in this ruin I had made for myself…Was it yesterday? Her rug is here under my knees….Wait, where is she? When was she here? Her perfume lingers in the mahogany of our furniture….When did I feel the heat of her palms against my cheeks? Each tear burned more than the last as they flooded my lips. Had my love……given up on me, on her life and mine? Was she ever there…at all? Was she just a cruel dream?