It’s been a painful couple of weeks, but today was the day that this chapter of our lives has ended. It’s bittersweet. Suffering the loss of a life is always hard to swallow, especially when you’re close with the one who passed, but when you think of the suffering that the person endured closely before their last moments, you know that it’s for the best. We celebrated my grandmother’s life with an incredible, luxurious dinner on the beach at Casablanca’s, started it off with amazing appetizers (I had a fantastic shrimp cocktail), a spicy shrimp scampi entree (what can I say? I like shrimp!), and a massive lava cake with ice cream that, by the time I finished it, made me want to vomit up my organs. I also thought that it was strange because, in the light of us celebrating my grandmother’s passing into heaven, we heard the song, “Over the Rainbow”, which lately had been very reminiscent of her and her situation. It kind of felt like she was sitting at the dinner table with us, enjoying the copious amount of food.
This experience gave me a new perspective of the expectancy of life. We all expect to live for a very long time, but some of us suffer our lives being cut short, and the luckier of those realize before it’s too late. As for me, though, I’m hoping to stop sitting around on my life. There are times, and places, and people that are in my life that I don’t feel happy with. And I need to be happy. I need to find more purpose, go for more goals, and not be afraid to fall sometimes. It’s such a scary feeling pushing yourself out into the deep end and hoping you can swim, but I feel like the benefits are worth the risk. As of today, I’m going to really live my life, moment by moment, and make it something that I find memorable. I’m not gonna wait for things to get better, or for people to start changing. I’m just gonna go change the world, for myself and others, and see where it all goes. I need this. This past year, there have been so many things that I’ve shy-ed away from because I was afraid of failing, and right now, I think failing is a better option than not trying at all.