A couple of days ago, I was faced with the realization that communication can be difficult, as we all have grown up with different circumstances. I thought I would address the reasons why we don’t what other people need to bring to light our differences.
1. Some people are private people. They don’t share the requirements of their own sustenance. They are under the assumption that they can achieve that kind of satisfaction through their own means. Sometimes, though, that is not the case. Some things can not be provided by the self. These types of people, however, would probably be more likely to take assistance from someone similar to them in that way.
2. Relying on others makes you “needy”. I’ve heard this so many times before. I had this same assumption growing up. I didn’t want help from other people because I was afraid they would look at me as if I weren’t self sufficient, and being independent has always been crucial to my own satisfaction. Unfortunately, having this kind of mindset can actually break down friendships, because it is believed that friends will need each other. When your friend doesn’t need you, would you consider them still a friend?
3. Every culture has their own assumption about how to acquire their needs. In some cultures, it is believed that the right thing to do is to simply ask someone, and if they say that they cannot provide something, then ATLEAST it was asked. In other cultures, however, some believe that it shouldn’t be given without being asked. Neither culture is wrong in their belief, but being able to understand the habits of specific types of people gifts us the ability to make everyone happy.
4. We’re not mind-readers. I’m guilty of this too, the belief that others know what we need but are choosing to ignore it. Not everyone knows what you need, so it’s important to address these concerns when they arise so grudges are not held for unprovoked reasons. It’s like blaming someone for something they didn’t know happened. When we leave our thoughts in our head, they can transform in a way that misrepresents the situation, and others could be punished for the blown proportions of the ordeal. It’s better to be upfront.
5. We are not living the same lives. We all have our journeys, and no two journeys are exactly the same. Opening the lines of communication allows us to merge our paths and ultimately benefit everyone to the best of our abilities.