Category Archives: Relationships

Love Is…

…Giving me a bite of your burrito bowl when I know you’re internally begging me to decline.

…Donating the one napkin you have at the dinner table at a restaurant to your messy partner.

…Leaving notes around the house that make me equal parts endeared and nauseous.

…Handling my heart as gently as if it were your own.

…Setting all aside to hear what I have to say, even if it’s not in your favor and it’s not what you want to hear.

…Pushing yourself to force a laugh out of your partner even at the expense of your dignity in public.

…Cooking a meal that you know will cut into your Netflix time so I can come home to a meal on the table.

…Smiling for me when I feel like the weight of my day has left me with a permanent frown.

…Kissing me on the nose or forehead when I’m feeling as if I have been emotionally abandoned by those who surround me.

…Sharing something that’s only meant for one, just because you know that it can be split between two.

…Making promises and consciously exceeding them because you can.

…Dreaming about the future with me because you know that I’m a dreamer.

…Bringing forward your playful side to expose your partner’s inner child in times when I feel like I can’t get out of my head.

…Using your two hands and hugging me in a way that makes me feel like I’m engulfed in your embrace.

…Initiating a late-night call to reiterate what the day had to offer, but to ultimately tell your partner that they are what you still dream about.

…Knowing when to end an argument and settle at your differences.

…Determining a positive approach in the shadow of negativity.

…Choosing to cherish your partner’s flaws as if they were their perfections.

…Being a best friend and lover all perfectly wrapped into one kindhearted, genuine entity.

What is love to you?

The Curse of Closeted Introversion: “You’re not an introvert! You’re so happy and friendly!”

Let me take this moment to address the word “introvert”. We cringe at it because we’ve learned that it’s not something anyone wants to be called and certainly not a characteristic any company would admire, according to common belief. It’s gotten such a bad rep in today’s world because opportunities are reaching out and grabbing at people that have the “loudest and proudest” personalities, leaving the people with the same intellectual capacities but a less dominant demeanor to wait for the next round of opportunities, fully aware of the kind of discouraging environment they face. I mean, who wants the quiet guy or girl, right?

Actually, wrong. Very wrong. See, the belief that an introvert would not be as successful as an extrovert is completely outlandish because the terms “extrovert” and “introvert” simply classify one’s interactions with their self and their environment, completely and totally separate from intelligence, ability to cooperate with others, and one’s personal initiative. These labels aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I know people label everything and everyone they interact with and that is how they classify and remember their surroundings, but how do you think I feel when others respond to me that “there’s no way I’m an introvert” because I’m friendly? When did anyone say an introvert can’t be friendly? It’s hard enough having to label myself, let alone try to explain it to another individual in a comprehensible way that, just because I can be loud, charming, and humorous, I know myself better than anyone else and that if I’m not an introvert, I lie close enough.

Deep down, I know I am an ambivert, but that term is such a foreign concept that holds all kinds of shades of grey, and it’s all about black or white with labels. Ambivert doesn’t classify in anyone’s folder, and the monotony of explaining being an “ambivert” deters me from using the term all together.

Introvert, ambivert, or extrovert, we all still have our own skills. We’re all talented, and a lot of us do need to care about society’s perception of us to some degree because of our future involvement in the workforce relies on it. Let’s try to redefine what is believed about introverts so they are given an equal shot at changing the world as everyone else. Introverts aren’t broken isolationists that can’t handle anything. We’re strong on the inside as much as we are on the outside. Our abilities should not be define by our tactics of socialization but by the character that we possess and the work we put forth to bring forward the talents we cultivate.

What are your thoughts?

5 Lessons I’ve Personally Learned From Being in a Legitimately Serious Relationship

 I’ve come up with a list of 5 important lessons I’ve realized in the light of a serious relationship (Oh, and enjoy the gifs/pictures for emphasis).

May the truth set you free.

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1. You’re gonna see a lot more out of your partner than you do in the “honeymoon phase”, the good, the bad, and the straight-up ugly. During that phase, you guys will be pulling chairs and opening doors like there’s no tomorrow, but of course, as time goes on, it will be accompanied by the occasional air-ripping burp. It’s inevitable. Welcome it with open arms because it will come barging through the door with or without your welcome sign. This is when you will rationally realize that we are all human, even your boyfriend!

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2. You’re going to fight. You’re gonna have the kind of fights that are going to make you want to rip your partner’s hair out from the scalp sometimes, and it’s normal. Yes, I repeat. It is a normal thing. It’s overwhelmingly boring to be with someone exactly like you with your exact same opinions, but what comes with differences comes arguing sometimes. It’s a worthy trade, trust me. Opinionated people are a treat to be around, whether they agree with your love for religiously watching Pretty Little Liars or not.

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3. Being close with your significant other’s parents creates a world of good within your relationship (that is, if they actually like you). Not only can you rely on them to help you plan surprises for your love, but in my traditional little way of thinking, they are part of the approval process if a couple wants to take their relationship to the next level (their opinions in your relationship matter, too!). Why not start from the top, right? Plus, who knows your man and all of his strange quirks better than they do? They can show you all of his cutest, most horrifying pictures from his childhood AND treat him to a sweet dose of reality if he won’t listen to your word and needs an uninhibited opinion. It’s a two-for-one deal.

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4. Holding on to anger is a double-ended sword. You spend all this time letting an issue fester within your mind and build up to tremendous heights, and then your partner ends up dealing with the blown-out-of-proportion version that has swallowed the truth and spit it out into something it clearly wasn’t before. It started as an annoyance that he canceled plans one night, and ended up being interpreted as an exclamation of hatred that resulted in your partner canceling all of your plans together because you claim he’d rather spend some time with anyone but you (which is kinda ridiculous, seeing as how he is romantically entangled with you). *shrugs* By the end point, you don’t even know what you were truly and originally angry about. Keeping communication lines open prevents the bullcrap of reiterating an, at this point irrelevant and unnecessary, problem.

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5. Enjoy every moment. I’m feeling like I’m bringing up a hardcore cliche right here, but hear me out. Every unexpected bump in the road is a test for your relationship to overcome, and each time it does, the reality hits that your partner wants this just as much as you do, which is one of the best feelings in the entire world. Don’t take a single moment for granted. This is your free pass to be disgustingly sweet (emphasis on the disgusting part) with your significant other. Go ahead and post a ten page love letter on Facebook. He deserves the affectionate embarrassment haunting his news feed as a reminder for months to come of all the weird TMI stuff you love about him. In some other dimension, he may be highly appreciative of this much needed public announcement of overemphasized, stomach-churning adoration.

Random thought: I can’t even begin to fathom why anyone would want their divorce publicly advertised on “Divorce Court”

Good for you. Just…great…..Why make it a calm, reasonable, private affair when you can have viewers laughing hysterically and screaming angrily at their TV screens, trying to rationalize how stupid you are?! What makes a public separation between two people who are clearly too outspoken and sassy for their own good (and the good of their relationship as a long-term commitment) even remotely enjoyable to the masses?

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What are your thoughts? Enlighten me.

Pet Peeves: The “Make or Break” Point for Friendships

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The truth of the matter is you can either avoiding seriously pissing people off, or be that annoying jerk that can’t bear to chew without their mouth wide open. Here is my list of all-time pet peeves that could easily put a friendship to its truest test.

1. I’ve introduced this prior, but I will introduce it again. Chewing with your mouth open is not cute. The snapping sound goes through my soul. Your parents told you before, but I am telling you again: chewing with your mouth open is one of the rudest things you can do. The food will still taste the same if you keep the trap shut while you chew.

2. People who refuse to give gas money. I get it. You’re a kid, I’m a kid. We don’t have a lot of money to throw around. But if I’m giving rides every single time we hang out and you can’t bear to part with a couple bucks for gas, I feel like a volunteered chauffeur. Be a doll and spare a few?

3. Using to use so much that you’re USED to using. What I mean by that is taking advantage of situations in which you’ll be the only one benefitting, simply because the option is there. When someone gives and gives while others take and take, eventually the resources (and patience, for that matter) are going to run dry fast, and there will be nothing left to give (shocker, I know). Friendships are about mutual respect and generosity. If I’m gonna kiss your feet, quite frankly, you’re going to end up kissing mine, too.

4. Ordering food at a restaurant, taking a bite, and deeming it “not fit” for you, sending it back to the kitchen. Do you know what they do with that food? Usually (and I say usually, because I feel like some weird places “recycle” the food), but USUALLY, the food ends up being thrown out. Something perfectly good for someone else, but not perfectly good for you. There are people starving. Do you think they’d be refusing that plate?

5. Borrowing anything and “forgetting” to give it back. “Oh yeah, I’ll give it back to you the next time I see you”. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? Seriously, if you’re gonna borrow something, return it once you’re done. if you legitimately don’t think you’ll be able to part with it after those few days of intimate bonding time with the said object, then ask me where I got it so I can direct you in the right direction toward getting one of your own.

6. Not saying “please” and “thank you”. It’s repulsive. I was brought up to have manners. In other peoples’ homes, I will always say “please” and “thank you” for whatever is given to me. If I like it, or I don’t like it. It doesn’t matter. I am sure to exercise my etiquette in either case. Those who are not outwardly (and inwardly) thankful are probably the worst on this entire list. You have been warned. Do not cross me.

What are your pet peeves, and why do they grind your gears?

“You’re only as strong as your weakest link”

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Which is actually great because the people in my life, in this current moment, are the strongest, most driven people I know. They amaze me in millions of ways. The few people I consider good friends at this point continually prove to me that their strength lies in loyalty, honesty, and the ability to be who they are in the sight of those who wish they were different. They’re my breath of fresh air and motivate me to be the best individual I can be, from the inside, out. Thank you.

Think about all the people that continually impact your life. Take a moment to really let them know that they matter. We, as people, like to know when our existence in someone else’s life is significant, and the harsh truth of the matter is that we never really know when our time in this world is up, so if we don’t make a conscious effort to do these things as they arise, we may never get the chance. Give someone some good, honest truths today.

Mandy

5 Reasons Why We Never Know What Other People Want (or More Importantly, Need)

A couple of days ago, I was faced with the realization that communication can be difficult, as we all have grown up with different circumstances. I thought I would address the reasons why we don’t what other people need to bring to light our differences.

1. Some people are private people. They don’t share the requirements of their own sustenance. They are under the assumption that they can achieve that kind of satisfaction through their own means. Sometimes, though, that is not the case. Some things can not be provided by the self. These types of people, however, would probably be more likely to take assistance from someone similar to them in that way.

2. Relying on others makes you “needy”. I’ve heard this so many times before. I had this same assumption growing up. I didn’t want help from other people because I was afraid they would look at me as if I weren’t self sufficient, and being independent has always been crucial to my own satisfaction. Unfortunately, having this kind of mindset can actually break down friendships, because it is believed that friends will need each other. When your friend doesn’t need you, would you consider them still a friend?

3. Every culture has their own assumption about how to acquire their needs. In some cultures, it is believed that the right thing to do is to simply ask someone, and if they say that they cannot provide something, then ATLEAST it was asked. In other cultures, however, some believe that it shouldn’t be given without being asked. Neither culture is wrong in their belief, but being able to understand the habits of specific types of people gifts us the ability to make everyone happy.

4. We’re not mind-readers. I’m guilty of this too, the belief that others know what we need but are choosing to ignore it. Not everyone knows what you need, so it’s important to address these concerns when they arise so grudges are not held for unprovoked reasons. It’s like blaming someone for something they didn’t know happened. When we leave our thoughts in our head, they can transform in a way that misrepresents the situation, and others could be punished for the blown proportions of the ordeal. It’s better to be upfront.

5. We are not living the same lives. We all have our journeys, and no two journeys are exactly the same. Opening the lines of communication allows us to merge our paths and ultimately benefit everyone to the best of our abilities.