People will tell you that you should never base your self-worth on those that surround you, because there will be times when they will let you down and times they will take a shot at your feelings due to their own circumstances, and your first assumption will be that it is because YOU are not worth their time, or YOU are not worth their effort. It’s difficult to not let how others treat you affect the way you perceive yourself. Recent events have let those kinds of destructive thoughts creep into my own head, which I had persistently blocked for a very long time. I began thinking that I wasn’t worth the time, the effort, the sacrifice, the love, the respect, and the understanding it takes to be in a relationship, a friendship, anything. The issue is that the negative forces in our lives take so much of a toll on us personally that they end up overwhelming the positive forces, and I can’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge this when it happened in my own life recently. I know that I am worth so much more than I have been given credit for in the past. I am not my unhappy experiences, my failures, my pain, my sadness, my inabilities, my projected worth…I am so much more.
That is why I believe that you are good enough, too. You may have had a horrible day, week, even year. But you know what? Things are going to get better, for both you and I. I may not even know you, but I can tell you that you can’t base your perception of YOUR worth on how people treat you. People are selfish and sometimes they don’t even mean to be. But they can be, and sometimes they are. Who’s to say that the way they conduct their lives and treat others reflects how you should be treated and how much you’re worth as an individual? You’re not a toy that they can just play with when they’ve got a moment to spare, and then put on the shelf. You’re not their pet, relying on them for the quality of your own life. You are a person with feelings, ambitions, vulnerabilities in combination with strengths. You’re unique in all aspects of your life and there will never be someone just like you, someone rich in the qualities that you possess in the exact same way. So you know what? Ditch the negative people, the hurtful memories, the times you’ve fallen on your face so hard you thought you’d never get back up, the underestimations people have of you, the disappointment people in their own lives that has somehow been projected upon your own life… Forget how people have made you feel. You’re incredible, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that happiness, that ability to feel alive and love yourself and the world around you, away from you. You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and excited about your life, and those who don’t agree, don’t deserve to be a part of YOU.
You’re incredible, and no matter who you are, where you are, how people have hurt you in the past, what you think you’re worth, if I know you or not, you deserve to be happy and you are loved. Tremendously, genuinely, honestly, respectfully…
You are loved.
Posted in Advice, Thoughts
Tagged boyfriends, breakups, confidence, exes, experiences, friends, friendships, girlfriends, giving up, growth, happiness, hurt, letter to you, life, loss, lost friends, love, memories, negative people, negativity, pain, people, personal, positivity, relationships, respect, sadness, self worth, strength, suffering, understanding, unhappy, worth
1. Ignoring texts because the person said something you didn’t like or that “offended” your fragile heart. Don’t text people if you’re too fragile to have the conversation take a direction you wouldn’t prefer. If something offends or upsets you, use your “big boy words” and speak up. Everyone has the little things that irk them, but ignoring a text doesn’t make the other person understand your case better and certainly doesn’t redirect the flow of words. How is someone supposed to correct a mistake they didn’t know they made?
2. Not being upfront. If you want or need something from someone, you seriously can’t be angry when they don’t (CAN’T) read your mind and do what you need them to do. The worst that can happen, the very worst case scenario, is that they say, I know, get ready for it….”no”. If they say “no”, that horrid word, the world will not cave under your feet. You’ll just need to figure it out, whatever you gotta do, on your own. No biggy. Or ask someone else who you know will say yes! I’m a yes (wo)man when I know they’re a reliable friend, and I know plenty of people who would be genuinely happy to help, so don’t be afraid to ask! 🙂
3. Changing plans last minute or deciding that another plan, a last minute plan you made after agreeing and confirming to the first one, is preferred and that you’ll cancel on the first one the day of the plan. It’s overwhelmingly rude. If you make a plan, it’s easy to assume that you’re going to stick with it unless something seriously important arises. I’m never gonna bust someone’s balls if their family needs them, or their car breaks down, though, so if that’s the issue, do what you have to do. But if you care more about going to a “sick rager” than catching up with a friend you haven’t seen in a good while that regards you highly, it’s difficult to dismiss it. Especially if you’re a repeat offender.
4. Dropping off the face of the earth when one of you has a new boo thang. You CAN have friends while still being in a relationship! What happened to unconditional friends? If you break up, whose shoulder are you going to cry on, and who in the world is going to buy a tub of ice cream for you two to share? Priorities, people. Priorities. No rocky road for you.
5. Revenge hookups. Once again, let’s try to be friends, and attempt to be mature about figuring out quarrels and underlying anger with the people that ultimately need to know. You may be angry at the time and want to take revenge on someone, but it’s such a horrible regret later on when you simmer down and you realize that that friendship will never, ever have the potential of happening again(if it genuinely meant something to you). It ends up hurting you more than it helps you. It’s best to just pick your battles.
What do you think people need to take a “chill pill” with?
Posted in Personal, Rant, Thoughts
Tagged asking, breakups, changing plans, conversation, experiences, friends, friendships, honest, hookups, ignoring, last minute plans, life, offended, offensive, parties, people, personal, personalities, petty, priorities, revenge, revenge hookups, selfish, thoughts, unconditional friends, upfront