Tag Archives: confidence

Media Monday: 5 Things We Should Stop Doing on Social Media (IMMEDIATELY)

For today’s Media Monday post, I’d like to discuss a few things that I see from time to time on social media that are gag worthy in a number of ways. Often my generation is called the “Social Media Generation”, because we live our lives not only offline, but online as well, which sometimes also leads to pretty rough consequences. As a 21 year old with quite the brain full of experience with digital media, I’d like to outline to my readers and non-readers alike the things I have seen online through social media networks that need to end…like….yesterday.

1. Following others on social media to gain their following, and then unfollowing them to reduce the number of people you’re following while maintaining their….followership? I know that was confusing, but bear with me. Here’s an example. The other day, a brand that I really like (not gonna throw them under the bus here, so I’ll leave it at that!) decided that I was worth a follow on Instagram. Me being as excited as I was about their mutual appreciation (and my realization that they had an Instagram, which I hadn’t known prior or I would’ve followed them already!), I clicked the follow button. Big mistake. As soon as I did, they unfollowed. *Sigh* AND THEN MY LIFE WAS OVER. No, but I was annoyed. Why follow me to get me to follow you, only to unfollow me? This also happens in blog support groups (this phrase makes us sound like we’re all addicts. Which we are. Writing addicts.), which I’ve come to realize. Another blogger and I will decide to follow each other to support each other’s blog and writing endeavors LIKE ADULTS and then, like magic, my followers app says, “Hey, this blogger’s a sucker. You lost another one” and I continue to roll my eyes for all eternity. Let’s just not do this anymore. Don’t be shady online, kids. Oh and have a good unfollower app because some people don’t like to play nice with others.

2. Copying blog posts like a bad blogger-sport. Look here, mister (clearly I’m bringing out the big guns). I work hard for my posts. They don’t always come easy to me. They can be a jumbled mess sometimes. I’m not always inspired. I’ve got school work everywhere I turn and, that thought in itself, can destroy my motivation. But you know what? I persevere. I get it done. I plan, I outline, I motivate, I drink lots of coffee, and I put the work in writing. It doesn’t matter if you wrote my blog post letter by letter, word by word, or just copied my cleverly created title that I thought of in the midst of a sugar-induced burst of creativity. From the moment you do this, you’re dead to me. We all have our battles. The fuse to make that bomb-a** post on YOUR OWN BLOG in YOUR OWN VOICE is in your hands, not mine.

I punned so hard on that one. My apologies.

3. Spamming for support. When it’s a known fact that it’s annoying and ineffective. For all of us. And the worst part is I can’t even bring a pitchfork and riot in front of your house because ALL I KNOW IS THE STUPID WEBSITE YOU WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT. And no, I refuse to check out what your spam is raving about. I’ll pitchfork riot from across the street. I’m not giving you the satisfaction of this annoyance.

Spammer: “Great post! Let me tell you about this new seo–”

Me: “No.”

Spammer: “seo tool tha–”

Me: “I SAID NO. Can you stop? Thanks.”

Spammer: “……seo tool that–”

Me: “THIS IS MY HOME. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. If my blog had blinds right now, and a front door, I’d be closing both RIGHT NOW. In your face. Hard.”

Don’t be THAT GUY, the blogger that only cares about their own content. Read blogs to engage in discussion, not to spread your butter all over everyone else’s bread. That sounds creepy, but you know what I mean. I hope.

4. Airing out our dirty laundry on social media. I think we’re all just a little bit guilty of this one, but it’s just horrible. We go on social media and point fingers at others (usually anonymously to most, the subject known to few) to an audience of hundreds, let them all know that we’re fuming on our side of the screen, maybe muster up some support and maybe even some fingers being pointed in our direction, but for what? Does it make us feel any better, to tell everyone at the same time that we are mad? Or hurt? Definitely not. If anything, it fuels the frustration. Why tell a bunch of strangers your list of grievances? There’s nothing they can tell you that can make your complaints go away, other than the typical “you alright?” response and the even less engaging, “feel better” reply. Get a diary, make a friend that doesn’t mind you scream-venting in their face, or take up paintball. Take all that weird, fiery energy and use it in a way that doesn’t make the whole internet groan.

5. Shaming others for their bodies in the safety of our homes and under the shield of online anonymity. If you’ve ever taken a moment to browse a sensation on any of these social media sites (celebrities, musicians, etc.), you’ll realize that at least a handful of the comments are directed towards their bodies. “You’re fat”, “you fat cow”, “eat a cheeseburger”, the list goes on. You’re not any cooler for putting someone else down, you know that right? We all know that the people who comment these things would never have that lack of a heart to say the hurtful things they say online to the subject in person. And if they do, well, that’s sick and disgusting and they need to be parented all over again, or maybe they need a parent that’s going to teach them the right way to treat people. Let’s make the internet more positive. If you don’t have something overwhelmingly heartfelt or positive or encouraging to say, zip your lips. Save your positive comment for someone else who you think deserves it. Having a bad attitude is never in style, not even in the digital world. The world would be a better place if people bothered to be….dare I say NICE to each other.

I hope you’re all having a wonderful Monday, and if you liked this post, share, comment, subscribe, and like! Remember, the humor is all in good fun, but I do mean what I say about the internet doing some spring cleaning. Some changes should definitely be made in the digital social-sphere.

What are some other things you believe people should stop doing on social media?

Leave a comment below!

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You Are Loved

People will tell you that you should never base your self-worth on those that surround you, because there will be times when they will let you down and times they will take a shot at your feelings due to their own circumstances, and your first assumption will be that it is because YOU are not worth their time, or YOU are not worth their effort. It’s difficult to not let how others treat you affect the way you perceive yourself. Recent events have let those kinds of destructive thoughts creep into my own head, which I had persistently blocked for a very long time. I began thinking that I wasn’t worth the time, the effort, the sacrifice, the love, the respect, and the understanding it takes to be in a relationship, a friendship, anything. The issue is that the negative forces in our lives take so much of a toll on us personally that they end up overwhelming the positive forces, and I can’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge this when it happened in my own life recently. I know that I am worth so much more than I have been given credit for in the past. I am not my unhappy experiences, my failures, my pain, my sadness, my inabilities, my projected worth…I am so much more.

That is why I believe that you are good enough, too. You may have had a horrible day, week, even year. But you know what? Things are going to get better, for both you and I. I may not even know you, but I can tell you that you can’t base your perception of YOUR worth on how people treat you. People are selfish and sometimes they don’t even mean to be. But they can be, and sometimes they are. Who’s to say that the way they conduct their lives and treat others reflects how you should be treated and how much you’re worth as an individual? You’re not a toy that they can just play with when they’ve got a moment to spare, and then put on the shelf. You’re not their pet, relying on them for the quality of your own life. You are a person with feelings, ambitions, vulnerabilities in combination with strengths. You’re unique in all aspects of your life and there will never be someone just like you, someone rich in the qualities that you possess in the exact same way. So you know what? Ditch the negative people, the hurtful memories, the times you’ve fallen on your face so hard you thought you’d never get back up, the underestimations people have of you, the disappointment people in their own lives that has somehow been projected upon your own life… Forget how people have made you feel. You’re incredible, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that happiness, that ability to feel alive and love yourself and the world around you, away from you. You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and excited about your life, and those who don’t agree, don’t deserve to be a part of YOU.

You’re incredible, and no matter who you are, where you are, how people have hurt you in the past, what you think you’re worth, if I know you or not, you deserve to be happy and you are loved. Tremendously, genuinely, honestly, respectfully…

You are loved.

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Illuminating Our Perfection, or Purposeful Deception?

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I got an email the other day that had me thinking about the significance of makeup, especially in my life. She asked how I felt about the accusations that using makeup is a deceptive way that women represent themselves. I figured I’d respond to this publicly because I feel that it is essential to my readers to understand why I write what I write and the role that makeup plays for me personally.

Let’s start with a little personal history! I’ve gotten on a beauty kick lately more so than ever. I’m really loving experimenting with makeup and different products ever since I visited Ulta and later got an Ipsy subscription, which delivers new, varying beauty products every month for only $10, making it pretty much impossible for a girl like me to refuse. My love for using makeup has been a consistent love. I remember, as a young child, I used to carry around one of those caboodle carrying cases full of makeup and sit around with my friends and create “makeovers”. Sure, they probably weren’t as aesthetically pleasing then as they’d be now (I’ve learned at least some skills since those days), but even then I understood what makeup meant to me. I loved using it because makeup is artistic as well as purposeful.

I see so many comments on the pages, videos, and posts of beauty bloggers by men (and some women) saying that makeup is deceptive and that it hides one’s natural flaws, making the individual more attractive than they actually are, attracting individuals who apparently think they naturally look flawless. Ahh. Let’s get this straight here. Makeup enhances one’s beauty and gives the individual the ability to exemplify certain physical traits while toning down traits they see as less desirable or bothersome. That’s not deceptive. It’s something that we, as humans, do similarly with many things. We always want to put our best traits forward, whether it’s for a job interview, a first date, whichever. Makeup is something that allows women to accentuate their best physical features.

Some women, like myself, also use makeup as a way to conceal acne scars in order to be more comfortable and confident in their own skin and especially in face to face social situations. For me, I focus immensely on the base of the makeup look: the foundation. I have had severe acne for the majority of my young adult to adult life and it has left me with unsightly, discolored scars that I don’t always like to leave bare. It’s a sensitive thing for me, having others ask about the permanent marks that were left on my face from these years, so I find that knowing how to apply my makeup effectively gives me a major confidence boost. Others aren’t looking for scars, but rather social queues on my face, which is a nice change of pace. I could imagine many others apply makeup for the same reasons. They would rather reduce the distraction of little flaws and feel comfortable and confident in their own skin than go out, barefaced, knowing that the uncomfortableness will ultimately hinder them. I remember feeling like I was going to cry every time I’d look in the mirror and see how badly my skin had gotten. Makeup gives the individual the freedom to look glamorous and to feel beautiful, acne scars or not. It’s more so for the individual’s sake than for any outside force, meaning that the use of makeup isn’t as much for “deception” as many like to call it, but for the expression of illuminating one’s perceived best features in vibrant, inspired new ways, neutralizing the flaws we have that chip at our confidence.

Makeup is enjoyable for me. I love to be able to have a clean canvas to create new looks every day and to experiment with different color palettes. I can change my look to fit my outfit, my mood, anything I desire. I honestly think using makeup is as “deceptive” as a woman looking beautiful in nice clothes. Is that deception too, because she’s not spotlighting the bumps and rolls that are just a natural part of her figure, but finding pieces that illuminate her best assets?
Realistically speaking, how is makeup any more deceiving?
Why should I not feel comfortable in my own skin?

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5 Things I Am Grateful for This Week (And Yes, I’m Back for Good, My Beautifuls!…and Handsomes?)

A much needed update. I feel absolutely awful for spending so much time away from writing, but I’d like to tell you guys what’s going on before I continue this journey. This semester, so far, has had be taking an emotional and physical beating. I feel completely drained. I’ve done really well in college so far, gotten generally A’s and B’s up until this point, and now that I’m diving into my major-related classes, I’m working double as hard to keep those A’s and B’s I’ve strived for in the past. And yes, I’ve got ’em currently, but seriously, I’m whipped. So here we go. I am back in the writing game, I’m happy to be back at my blog, and I’m ready to continue this journey with you guys, everyone that’s supported me and cheered me on even when I felt like giving up. This one’s for you for being as awesome as you are.

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10 Things I am Grateful for This Week!

1. I have my inspiration back! For the love of God, FINALLY. I have a writing course that I’m taking that drains the creativity right out of me, so having this creativity in my grasp again is a blessing. I feel like writing keeps me going, and if I don’t have the energy to do it, I’m just not the same. So I am thankful for being inspired again!

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2. I am thankful that my car is in pristine (working) condition again. You guys weren’t there for the sh*tshow that ensued with my car situation and how every morning felt like a new adventure trying to figure out whether I’d get to class or not on time, or whether I’d be giving another desperate call to AAA. My little beater, Antonio, is officially back in business. Ladies….

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3.  I have rediscovered my obsession with Civilization 5. Between classes, I’ve been coming back to my apartment and continuing what I believe to be the longest single game I’ve ever played, with 15 cumulative hours played. WTF am I even doing with my life? 20 minutes in real life feels like 2 seconds in Civ 5. I feel like the best conqueror the world has ever seen. I think I’m just gonna take this love a step further and start talking to people in Civ 5 terms and if they know what I mean and can relate to the craze, they’re automatically friends.

Friend: “I had a good time today. We should do this again.”

Me: “How about we make a Public Declaration of Friendship for 15 turns to make it official?”

Friend: “Girl, you took the words right out of my mouth. Might as well open our borders as well, just for old time’s sake.”

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4. Ever since I started my subscription with Ipsy, I feel like I’m better equipped to look dashing in every situation and actually feel like I do. I’m learning how to accept using new products that I’ve never seen or heard about before without feeling like I’ve betrayed my regular purchases and am becoming more accustomed to experimenting with new makeup. *Fit Me foundation hysterically crying in the distance* I’m sorry, shhh, it’s not me or Ipsy. It’s you….You just….don’t Fit Me anymore

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5. And finally, last night I got a total of 12 hours of sleep, on accident. Yes, I repeat, on accident. Didn’t even mean to fall asleep, but your girl feel like she’s got rainbows shooting from her eyeballs. Sleep is such a beautiful thing. Every college student in the entire world knows this struggle.

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What are you thankful for this week?

Leave a comment below if you love me. And if you don’t? Well, I don’t love you either. The feeling’s mutual, buddy.

Watch Out! The Weight Police Have Struck Again!

Because I have expressed unhappiness at my current weight (which could easily be fixed on my own, might I add), like a dog with a chew toy, I have experienced others tear through any bit of security and comfortableness I have within myself. It’s shameful of anyone to pretend like they know how a body should look and to take it upon themselves to punish others for not fitting the standard that they consider “beautiful” and “healthy”. Don’t let the judgment of others on you, whether it be your weight, a personality trait they don’t like, your supposed “laziness” as a college student focusing on your school work, whatever, take control of your life. Don’t give other people the keys to your happiness. Not everything in life is about numbers, nor does someone’s weight, out of all things, equal their worth (or less worth, in my case) as a human being. There is much more to each individual than how they look, and this needs to be brought to light. I’m realizing myself in many more ways than this, and I can only hope that I will come across others who will support me through thick and thin, no pun intended. Unconditional love truly is difficult to come by.

Fat shaming is wrong on any level, and so is the existence of needless discouragement and verbal assaults in this world that already implements enough insecurity on its own.

Words hurt.

Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid of Looking Like a Skyscraper

I’ve heard, countless times, the whispers behind women’s backs as they wear their highest heels to maybe some of the most unconventional places. And you know what I say to that? If you feel sexy, do it. If it’s the least bit acceptable, it’s still acceptable. Do it. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t be afraid to be tall. These are my personal reasons why I am always ready to rock some killer shoes.

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1. I feel sexy being tall. As an already tall girl, heels bring it a step further. I was blessed (and I say blessed because I certainly don’t see it as a curse!) with height on my own but I’ve been told that heels make me “runway worthy”. I am so not questioning it.

2. Being dressed how you wish exudes confidence. I’m confident, but with a great pair of eye-popping stilettos, I’m basically unstoppable. If it makes me feel good to wear it, I’m going to wear it with or without the approval of others. Watch out. Confidence ahead.

3. Dresses with heels make me feel uber feminine. I don’t always get dressed up really girly (because I like to pair my edginess with my feminine side), but when I do, I’m going all the way. Occasionally I like to look like a cupcake, you know?

What are your thoughts on heels?

Fun Fact: I am legitimately obsessed with What Not to Wear and would ADORE the opportunity to get to style others in the future

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I would ideally love to be a stylist for someone, or maybe even a personal shopper, on the side of pursuing my Digital Media degree. I love being able to transform others’ styles in a way that exhibits their character and confidence. Style is a crucial part of showing the world your creativity and thought process, which ultimately affects your effectiveness of communication, perceptions in your relationships, and the interactions you experience with those you do not know and who have yet to know you. As a child, I was never in to fashion. I was much heavier than I am now, and did not have the sense of pride to portray myself in that kind of way. Looking back on that, I wish I had given style a chance. I rediscovered it in my late middle school, early high school years. At that point, the efforts I had made to get myself at a comfortable weight had driven me to exhibit my newfound appreciation for who I was and how I looked.  It then occurred to me that my desire to portray my creative side could be utilized not only for my artistic endeavors of drawing and painting, but in the way that I formulated an outfit each day. Every day is a new opportunity to wear clothes how I’d like to wear them, in unique combinations, textures, and designs. If I could provoke someone else’s interest in creating their own look, I feel like I would be giving back to them in many more ways than one. I could only hope that they’d experience the fascination that I have cultivated throughout these years in becoming a genuine representation of who they are, from the inside, out.