Tag Archives: interacting

Calling All (Not so) Regulars and New Explorers!

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Do you have a prompt that you’d like me to respond to?
Leave a comment below with the prompt and I’ll create a new post answering it for you!
It can seriously be anything. Be creative. 😉

Mandy

Let’s Do Something Different Tonight!

There are so many of you that I have yet to talk to, and I would love to get the opportunity to interact with the whole community of writers that make up this website! I thought it would be a fun idea to do something like a Q and A session to keep the ideas flowing while getting to know what you guys think about. If any of you need advice ON ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING, go ahead and ask. Tweet me @Madirito, comment a question, or you post your question as a new post on WordPress with the tag #AskMandirito, and I will create a post answering your question. It can be a prompt, a question, an idea, a thought, whatever! Show me what you got 🙂 

Mandy

5 Reasons Why We Never Know What Other People Want (or More Importantly, Need)

A couple of days ago, I was faced with the realization that communication can be difficult, as we all have grown up with different circumstances. I thought I would address the reasons why we don’t what other people need to bring to light our differences.

1. Some people are private people. They don’t share the requirements of their own sustenance. They are under the assumption that they can achieve that kind of satisfaction through their own means. Sometimes, though, that is not the case. Some things can not be provided by the self. These types of people, however, would probably be more likely to take assistance from someone similar to them in that way.

2. Relying on others makes you “needy”. I’ve heard this so many times before. I had this same assumption growing up. I didn’t want help from other people because I was afraid they would look at me as if I weren’t self sufficient, and being independent has always been crucial to my own satisfaction. Unfortunately, having this kind of mindset can actually break down friendships, because it is believed that friends will need each other. When your friend doesn’t need you, would you consider them still a friend?

3. Every culture has their own assumption about how to acquire their needs. In some cultures, it is believed that the right thing to do is to simply ask someone, and if they say that they cannot provide something, then ATLEAST it was asked. In other cultures, however, some believe that it shouldn’t be given without being asked. Neither culture is wrong in their belief, but being able to understand the habits of specific types of people gifts us the ability to make everyone happy.

4. We’re not mind-readers. I’m guilty of this too, the belief that others know what we need but are choosing to ignore it. Not everyone knows what you need, so it’s important to address these concerns when they arise so grudges are not held for unprovoked reasons. It’s like blaming someone for something they didn’t know happened. When we leave our thoughts in our head, they can transform in a way that misrepresents the situation, and others could be punished for the blown proportions of the ordeal. It’s better to be upfront.

5. We are not living the same lives. We all have our journeys, and no two journeys are exactly the same. Opening the lines of communication allows us to merge our paths and ultimately benefit everyone to the best of our abilities.

Daily Writing Prompt: Write about a condition you suffer from. How do you combat that condition?

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We all get nervous for monumental events in our lives, but the nervousness that I experience on a day to day basis is more than just that. It even has its own classification from general nervousness. My condition is identified as social anxiety. Sufferers of social anxiety, like myself, often get nervous in social situations, whether it be meeting a new group of people, speaking in front of a crowd, or even going to classes in which they feel like they don’t “associate well” with their peers. There are situations that I cannot control socially, and I think that is part of what keeps my anxiety alive, as well as situations where I don’t know what to expect. I think about how others perceive me, and the majority of the time, I’m thinking they’re picking me apart. It’s a normal thought process for me to feel this way, so I’ve tried to just roll with it in the past to avoid blowing it into much larger proportions. Unfortunately, though, always feeling like people are judging you isn’t a great feeling. It often leaves me feeling like I can’t hold a conversation, maintain eye contact, or meet their friends. It’s awful.

Many people think that anxiety isn’t a real issue, and that it’s an excuse for an introvert to avoid socialization. That assumption is ridiculous. I would never choose to experience uncomfortableness in social situations, and I would never in a million years choose to avoid certain social situations if I were always comfortable. If I always felt comfortable and ready to socialize with others, I would never be home. I’d always be out doing something with friends and taking on new experiences. But right now, I’m easing into new experiences one chance at a time. I’m trying to get myself more comfortable. I’m trying to overcome this anxiety before it consumes me. Many of my friends say that I’m one of the most extroverted people they know, and actually, that’s part of the way I deal with my anxiety. In order to get myself more comfortable in new social situations, I tend to bring out my more extroverted side so I don’t end up sinking through the floor. It’s something I’ve learned that I’m able to do, despite the anxiousness, so often people don’t even realize that I suffer from this condition.

Part of my personal journey battling social anxiety is combatting it through my Youtube channel that I created recently under the username, “Mandirito”. On my channel, I do tutorials, vlogs, and other videos that invite viewers to see into what I do on a day to day basis and allow others to get an inside look on my personal thoughts, experiences, hobbies, and opinions. I had been wanting to do this for a very long time, and this year I had finally worked up the courage to just do it. It’s part of my willingness to come out of my shell in a more public way.

It’s important to realize that there are so many people out there that suffer from the same condition that don’t let others in close enough to see it. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be taken seriously when confronted. Be sensitive to each person’s battle, because we’re all fighting one, one way or another.

Daily Writing Prompt: Do you think that manipulation is at the core of our social interactions? Explain.

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I’ve always been deeply engaged in the existence of psychology within our lives. Human interaction occurs in a vast amount of ways, from the way that we maintain eye contact, to the way that we physically interact, with hand holding, handshakes, subtle touches, and other physical gestures. What comes with interaction is the ability to use actions to manipulate the actions or responses of another person, or several other people. Although the existence of manipulative behavior may seem as if it has a negative connotation, it can also have a positive influence amongst people. Yes, some individuals use manipulation for self gain at the expense of another’s feelings or goals, or out of the pleasure of feeling like they can “outsmart” or “dominate” their peers. However, manipulation can be utilized to positively impact the lives of others. For example, I had recently had a discussion with a close friend that was painfully worried about meeting her boyfriend’s parents because she was afraid that they would immediately judge her based upon her cover, long before they could explore the many pages of her wonderful personality. Knowing that she takes my opinions very seriously and cares significantly about our relationship, I assured her of her greatest qualities and comforted her in the thought that they will love her, because I truly believe they will. I used my influence on her to manipulate her thoughts about the situation at hand, and to bring it down to a rational level. Having the confidence of a friend standing behind you and lingering in your mind in moments of insecurity can give you a sense of not being alone in the moment, and I think that my reassurance gave her the confidence to give it a shot, despite her doubt. It turns out when she did meet his parents, they loved her from the very beginning. They couldn’t wait to meet her, and she felt like she was family right when entered their home. She had no reason to worry about what they would think, because on her own, she is an extraordinary person, with or without my confidence, but knowing that her good friend believed in her minimized the issue. That was an instance in which positive manipulation occurred because of influence.

Let me get down to the point here. Yes, I believe that manipulation is a significant part of our core interactions, but the power that is brought upon an individual with the persuasiveness to manipulate can be used in both positive and negative ways. It’s important to value yourself, but to also value the feelings and journeys of those around you in order to avoid destructive behavior that could potentially create a lose-lose situation for both parties.

This has been written from my own personal experiences within my life, and the situations I’ve observed.