A couple of days ago, I was faced with the realization that communication can be difficult, as we all have grown up with different circumstances. I thought I would address the reasons why we don’t what other people need to bring to light our differences.
1. Some people are private people. They don’t share the requirements of their own sustenance. They are under the assumption that they can achieve that kind of satisfaction through their own means. Sometimes, though, that is not the case. Some things can not be provided by the self. These types of people, however, would probably be more likely to take assistance from someone similar to them in that way.
2. Relying on others makes you “needy”. I’ve heard this so many times before. I had this same assumption growing up. I didn’t want help from other people because I was afraid they would look at me as if I weren’t self sufficient, and being independent has always been crucial to my own satisfaction. Unfortunately, having this kind of mindset can actually break down friendships, because it is believed that friends will need each other. When your friend doesn’t need you, would you consider them still a friend?
3. Every culture has their own assumption about how to acquire their needs. In some cultures, it is believed that the right thing to do is to simply ask someone, and if they say that they cannot provide something, then ATLEAST it was asked. In other cultures, however, some believe that it shouldn’t be given without being asked. Neither culture is wrong in their belief, but being able to understand the habits of specific types of people gifts us the ability to make everyone happy.
4. We’re not mind-readers. I’m guilty of this too, the belief that others know what we need but are choosing to ignore it. Not everyone knows what you need, so it’s important to address these concerns when they arise so grudges are not held for unprovoked reasons. It’s like blaming someone for something they didn’t know happened. When we leave our thoughts in our head, they can transform in a way that misrepresents the situation, and others could be punished for the blown proportions of the ordeal. It’s better to be upfront.
5. We are not living the same lives. We all have our journeys, and no two journeys are exactly the same. Opening the lines of communication allows us to merge our paths and ultimately benefit everyone to the best of our abilities.
Posted in College, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts
Tagged communicating, communication, experiences, interacting, interaction, learned, lessons, life, life lessons, my experiences, my life, people, personal, personality, realization, reasons, thoughts
Often it is said that there is strength in numbers. But what about the strength in ourselves? There are some strong characters in our population that find it in them to maintain themselves as well as the goodness of others, often selflessly. They are the strongest, but they also work the hardest for the greater good. Some do their deeds as a single entity, while others, like I had stated prior, find strength when surrounded by others with alike mindsets, but in either situation, the same chain reaction applies. Some are mothers, leaders, friends, and coworkers. Some are strangers to you and I, but mean the world and more to the ones they bring under their wing. I believe that most people are either one or the other. I have come to know many people in my life on a deeply personal level, and have come to the conclusion that my relationships and interactions involve of a variety of people that fall into either category. There are the ones that shamelessly take what they can from you, from the friendship, from every open resource available to them. And then there are the ones that I prefer, the givers, the ones that will gladly do the dirty work that others don’t want to do out of their own free will, because they know it will lift a physical and maybe even a psychological load off of another’s shoulders. I can be selfish, too, but if I had to say whether I were one or the other, I would be, hands-down, a giver. The amount of time that I spend each day thinking of others is probably significantly more than anyone would consider I contribute, but the actions that come from these thoughts grant others better days through the actions that follow my inspiration to do good. They give them hope for humanity on the occasion, and at the least, a smile that can lead them throughout the day. Giving my strength, love, and support to others even inspires them to want to do the same for another sometimes, which makes the purpose of the original act so much more fulfilling. Positive chain reactions give hope. They reinforce our bond with other beings and prove that we are capable and willing to give, even in times when we don’t receive. I often find myself getting hurt by others because their purposes in life don’t contribute to the greater good, but I know that there are plenty of us out there giving ourselves for the fraction of the population that need someone to protect and nurture them and even to those who have not earned our love. There are enough of us to maintain my faith. My faith in the givers demolishes my disappointment in those who only wish to take.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged category, daily prompt, discuss, emotional, experience, faith in humanity, fake friends, friendship, friendships, givers, giving, good deeds, growth, humanity, interaction, maintenance, mindset, motives, people, personal, personality, physical, population, positivity, psychology, purpose, relationships, selfish, shameless, strength, stronger, strongest, takers, taking, thoughts, weak, world, writing
I am starting to feel like they consider their technologies to be their realities, rather than the world in which they live. It worries me seeing so many young kids with their faces buried into their iPhone screens, not paying attention to others as they speak and disregarding the things that would otherwise matter in the absence of these forms of technology.
Posted in Thoughts
Tagged awareness, interaction, iphone, kids, life, people, perception, random thought, technology, teenagers, teens, thinking about the world, thought, thoughts, world, worried, younger generations
Every time I come back to my hometown (er…home CITY), it’s a different experience. I think the reason is that I’m gaining and losing friends from here all the time, so I never have the same memories, because I’m spending my time with different people each Summer. People write me off because I’m away at college and am not an exceptional texter, or because they don’t think I have the dedication to the friendship necessary for long-distance friendships. Whatever the reason may be, they practically weed themselves out without me having to do anything. The closest friends I’ve made in my home city have stuck by my side through and through, so I have no doubt about the ones that are willing to wait a bit for a text response and continue to update me on the happenings of their lives. I never used to be comfortable or okay losing friends, but the ones that have been most important to me, at least most of them anyway, have proven and proven again that no distance, no lack of contact, and no argument could ever break us apart. I’m not so distraught when I lose friends anymore because now I know who is willing to stay and continue to be good listening ears, shoulders to lean on, and sources of happiness, rather than stress. Does anyone else feel this way when they come home from college?
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged appreciative, away at college, college, friends, friendship, growing up, growth, interaction, keeping in touch, learning, life, living, people, personal, texting
1. Thinking that you can’t order something you like at a restaurant for the fear of looking like a messy eater. As long as you’re not putting your head in the bowl, I’m not going to judge you on what you eat or how you eat it. I pretty much consider anything a finger food if done right!! Plus, this is coming from the girl that had one of her first dates at Chipotle. There’s no possible way to eat Chipotle like a lady, and my date actually, believe it or not, found it charming. Hah.
2. Don’t feel like it has to be an expensive date to be fun or make an impression upon your date. Some of the best dates I’ve been on were free or costed less than 20 bucks. Most girls wouldn’t mind a picnic on the beach or a bike ride around town together! It gives you time to talk and doesn’t hurt either of your wallets!
3. Flowers are nice, but not required. Yes, I, along with many others, love fresh flowers. But I will never expect them every time I see you. It’s a surprise enough to see your smiling face!!
4. Homemade gifts are actually just as good if not better than bought ones. One of the gifts I received in the past that left a huge mark on me was a written poem. It was the sweetest, most sentimental thing I had received to this day. It doesn’t always have to require money to be special. Sweet words are charming enough!!
5. Don’t be afraid to try new things. I don’t care how stupid you look when you try. The fact that you’re trying something new is impressive. Most girls like a guy that can step out of his comfort zone, especially to impress. It lets her know that you’re willing to go out of your way.
What are your absolute no-nos when it comes to dating?
Posted in Personal, Relationships, Thoughts
Tagged cute, date, dating, dating tips, dining, don't, etiquette, experience, experiences, flowers, gentlemen, gestures, girls, guys, ideas, interaction, love, necessary, no nos, not necessary, personal, relationship, relationships, romance, romantic, thoughts
If my friendships were defined in black and white terms, I think I’d be much happier. There are so many people currently in my life right now that I have no clue where I stand with, and it’s unsettling. You’re either someone who wants to be friends, or you’re someone who doesn’t want to be friends. Why make it so complicated? I don’t want to invest the time and effort into people who don’t feel the same way, and lately, I feel like I’ve done that a lot. Let’s be real.
Posted in College, Personal, Thoughts
Tagged college, college student, complicated, complicated friendships, confused, confusion, define, defined, experience, feel, feelings, friends, friendship, happiness, interaction, peers, people, random, random thought, stance, thoughts, unsettling