I find myself going through my daily routine, engulfed by my own thoughts about what it feels like to be “happy”. I remember being happy. Happy was me at Warped Tour, swaying to the beat of some newly discovered bands and realizing how much I adored the sound of something new gracing my ears. Happy was when I sat on the beach with my mom, coffee in hand and gnat-bitten to death, awaiting the arrival of a new sunrise on the shore. Happy was when I heard one of my favorite songs on the radio like I had millions of times before, but this time, managed to belt out all the words as loud as I could with the windows down, completely shamelessly. I know “happy”. Happy has always been a good friend of mine, but has slowly drifted from my grasp as of late. He’s become someone who sends a card on only the holidays signed with just his name, someone who pops in and says “hello” but never actually takes the time to truly absorb my answers, to question the strange intonations of my responses. He’s someone that has mistakenly forgotten to return my calls, tragically missed my texts, and has found new places and people to foster his sparks. Happiness has become an acquaintance, even more so a stranger. As of late.
The question is, am I happy? Am I happy now, at this very moment in time and my life?
I feel like my questioning confirms my answer enough.
Posted in Personal, Thoughts
Tagged disappointment, experiences, friendships, frustrated, happiness, happy, influence, interactions, life, my thoughts, my writing, over it, people, personal, reality, rejected, rejection, resentment, thoughts, tired
The sound of sirens echoes through the empty corridors of my abode, booming threateningly in my ear drums. “Are you awake? Do you hear the sirens wailing? Get up, my fair commoner. Your day has begun,” the winds hiss faintly. My work apparel is strewn across the floor on my bed side, and I begin to creep to the edge of my bunk with the hopes of not causing a stir, positive that I am the only worker not yet active at her station. One of my greatest felonies yet so far. The guards could hear even the slightest movement, the faintest sound. They are waiting for the next victim they can “justly” torture. Bloodthirsty. Every pin drop, every inhale taken hungrily from the outside world. Only our supreme Master allows their animalistic behaviors to arise, believing that only those who disturb the well-oiled machine deserve the greatest of punishments. However, anything that cuts the silence that fills this everyday existence is eligible for what is believed to be eternal pain and suffering. No one can verify this, of course, because those who experience such things are obliterated. The world is their highly-regulated, obedient oyster, that has had it’s only pearl reaped for the sake of what they believe to be “the greater good”. “Greater good”. Ha. How I long for the days when I could exercise my rights as a human, to express what lies boiling underneath the surface. How I long for the days when I was real, when I wasn’t just a plastic “product” of their flawless mold, nothing but submissive blood and bones.
Posted in My Writing, Writing Prompt
Tagged afraid, city, commoner, control, dreary, fearful, HR challenge, make a city, make a city challenge, my city, my writing, personality, prompt, prompted, regulated, ruled, rules, strength from fear, supreme master, thoughts, worker
This is just a part of a fiction piece I’m writing. Same David from before, if you didn’t notice. I hope you enjoy it! 🙂 Copyrighted to Mandirito. ——————————- Her glare felt like it was burning into his skull. She had … Continue reading
Her coffee cup slipped right out of her hand and smashed into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor, her bare feet covered in droplets of her own blood, scalding coffee, and the aftermath of scattered shards. She bit into her lip to suppress the reaction building up within her mouth, closing her eyes tightly. It’s alright. You’re okay. Grabbing hold of the counter, she stretched her leg across the glass debris, bringing herself to safety within the near hallway. A sigh escaped as she glared down at the mess. So much for getting a head start. She glanced at the clock. It exhibited “1:24 AM” in bold, flashing characters. Her day had felt an awful lot like this: making messes, mending messes, repeat. She was on the verge of tears, sweeping the remains of her business trip souvenir and reviewing her mental list of all the work she had to accomplish before the beginning of the next morning, the ungodly hours of the early-riser shift. I have about 4.5 hours…I can do this. If I plan my time accordingly, I can have my pitch in the works and get some studying done for my exam on….is it…Monday, I believe? Is the exam on Monday, or Tuesday? She attempted to scramble to the calendar mounted upon her wall, luckily escaping potential impalement. A pain grew in the pit of her stomach, and she could feel the rise of a headache in her temples. Tomorrow? How…How can that be? I….thought it was next week? She confirmed the dreadful conclusion. Tomorrow. Closing her eyes, she envisioned the next day, taking into account all that it could potentially hold. Slowly, she released her breath, counting to ten. You can do this. It doesn’t matter what this job, what your classes throw at you. You’re strong, you’re going to be prepared, you’re focused. With that, she had whirred out to her living room, settled with her laptop upon her desk, and challenged the night looming dauntingly ahead.
Posted in College, My Writing, Personal, Thoughts, Writing Prompt
Tagged bad luck, character, character life, college student, coping, dealing, everyday scenario, experience, fiction, glass, headache, life, luck, mess, my writing, overwhelmed, poor luck, reaction, relatable experience, relatable fiction, school, story, stress, stressful night, thoughts, tired, when things go wrong, work
Here are all the places that you can check me out. I hope you enjoy it, and please subscribe, follow, and “like”!!! 🙂 Your support makes me so grateful!
Twitter – https://twitter.com/Mandirito
Youtube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqy2eL07SETdkJF9pe0OUzQ/videos
Cramer Artistry Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/AmandaCramerArtistry
The Blog Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/Mandirito.the.blogger
Posted in Art/Photography, College, Encouragement, Gratefulness, Memory, My Writing, Personal, Rant, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing Prompt, Youtube Channel
Tagged blog, blog facebook page, comment, community, connecting, connection, cramer artistry, cramer artistry facebook page, drawing, facebook, fanbase, follow, follow me, following, grateful, like, mandirito, mandirito youtube, my blog, my channel, my work, my writing, painting, photography, subscribe, subscribing, tweeting, twitter, videos, visual arts, writing, youtube, youtube channel