Tag Archives: negativity

You Are Loved

People will tell you that you should never base your self-worth on those that surround you, because there will be times when they will let you down and times they will take a shot at your feelings due to their own circumstances, and your first assumption will be that it is because YOU are not worth their time, or YOU are not worth their effort. It’s difficult to not let how others treat you affect the way you perceive yourself. Recent events have let those kinds of destructive thoughts creep into my own head, which I had persistently blocked for a very long time. I began thinking that I wasn’t worth the time, the effort, the sacrifice, the love, the respect, and the understanding it takes to be in a relationship, a friendship, anything. The issue is that the negative forces in our lives take so much of a toll on us personally that they end up overwhelming the positive forces, and I can’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge this when it happened in my own life recently. I know that I am worth so much more than I have been given credit for in the past. I am not my unhappy experiences, my failures, my pain, my sadness, my inabilities, my projected worth…I am so much more.

That is why I believe that you are good enough, too. You may have had a horrible day, week, even year. But you know what? Things are going to get better, for both you and I. I may not even know you, but I can tell you that you can’t base your perception of YOUR worth on how people treat you. People are selfish and sometimes they don’t even mean to be. But they can be, and sometimes they are. Who’s to say that the way they conduct their lives and treat others reflects how you should be treated and how much you’re worth as an individual? You’re not a toy that they can just play with when they’ve got a moment to spare, and then put on the shelf. You’re not their pet, relying on them for the quality of your own life. You are a person with feelings, ambitions, vulnerabilities in combination with strengths. You’re unique in all aspects of your life and there will never be someone just like you, someone rich in the qualities that you possess in the exact same way. So you know what? Ditch the negative people, the hurtful memories, the times you’ve fallen on your face so hard you thought you’d never get back up, the underestimations people have of you, the disappointment people in their own lives that has somehow been projected upon your own life… Forget how people have made you feel. You’re incredible, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that happiness, that ability to feel alive and love yourself and the world around you, away from you. You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and excited about your life, and those who don’t agree, don’t deserve to be a part of YOU.

You’re incredible, and no matter who you are, where you are, how people have hurt you in the past, what you think you’re worth, if I know you or not, you deserve to be happy and you are loved. Tremendously, genuinely, honestly, respectfully…

You are loved.

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Daily Writing Prompt: Put your music playlist on shuffle, take the song it lands on, and discuss it.

I apologize for the lack of time and inspiration lately. It’s been a hellish week, but I am back for good (I know, horrible, right?) so here goes nothin’. The daily prompts will, once again, become a daily thing. I’ve missed being able to write. It’s like the flesh and blood of my inspirations, and the absence of the ability to put my thoughts down in physical form has made me feel…..introverted. I share so much here that when I don’t, the thoughts just fester within my head.

Back to the topic at hand. It says to put my library on shuffle and talk about a song that it lands on. The song I landed on is called “The Hunger” by Fireflight. It’s a Christian song originally, but I’m not very religious, so I’m going to analyze it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t associate specifically with one religion. The following lyrics are the lyrics associated with this song.

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“The Hunger”

Cut it out, cut it out
I know it’s what you’re wanting to say
Burning up, burning up
I know why you’re feeling this way
There’s an ache you can’t erase
A yearning that you can’t replace
And you want Him, and you need Him
But you act like He’s not there
Yeah, you know that you’re hollow
And something’s missing here
So you push and you pull the hole in your soul
But you can’t make the hunger disappear
You got a rusted out lock on your door
Getting ready to break
You’ve held back love long enough
I think it’s time to cave
You’re waiting for a sign
The fact is faith is blind
Do you want to spend your whole life jaded?
Stuck in a rut that you created
Why don’t you break the cycle?
Let love win

To my understanding, this song reminds me of the feeling you get when your decisions are poor within a romantic relationship with another due to negative past experiences. You’re guarding your heart and building walls up around your feelings, begging your partner to not break them down, because you’ve learned from your past mistakes and refuse to get hurt again. You want your love to surpass your pain, so you begin digging yourself out of the hole you had buried yourself within, and let the light show into your soul. It eliminates the aching in your heart, replacing it with the fulfillment of bliss and unconditional acceptance.

I love this song because it tells a story beyond its original purpose. For those who don’t affiliate with the religion it represents, it can provide a powerful story to several different human experiences, and make the listener feel as if they aren’t alone in their suffering. I feel that any music or other creative outlet that can give you support just through words is a major accomplishment for the artist of the piece.

Random thought: what if my happiness couldn’t be tainted?

What if my happiness were an impenetrable bubble in which no negativity could surpass? Would my mind finally be peaceful, or would I come upon new internal quarrels to replace the ones that had left me?

No Good, Very Bad Day

I’d be lying if I said that today wasn’t awful after what just happened. I try to be an optimistic person, and in practice I often am, but my day went from great to horrible in a matter of thirty minutes when my MacBook Pro completely stopped working. Decided it was done helping me study and prepare for my upcoming exams, and decided that it needed a break more than I do. As we speak (or as you read, more like), I am typing this on my iPhone. Don’t really know how I’m typing this when I’m rolling my eyes this hard. Pretty sure I’m on the verge of an emotional breakdown after this week and all of it’s obstacles, but I’m just going to do some yoga and see if I can exert some of this negative energy before I do anything out of stress or anger, and hopefully that will get me calm enough to sleep soundly tonight. Sometimes we’re dealt cards that we’d do anything not to take, but we have no choice. We have to take what life gives us and try to make it into a lesson learned. So here’s my lesson: never trust a MacBook, no matter if it’s working fine or not, because it will, in fact, come back and bite you in the a**, even if it’s not hungry. Seriously. Why now? Why before finals week? Why before I have projects to turn in, that were also on my laptop? I guess it’s time for me to get creative about my studying and try to focus on the positives in my life. In light of positivity, I will now list the things in my life that are going right for me, as of now.

1. I have exceptional grades right now. I’ve been busting my butt all semester to get straight A’s, and although I don’t have straight A’s, I’m going to end up having A’s and high B’s, with the exception of one rather difficult class. I’ll take it!

2. I was able to take a 4 hour nap today, which made up for all the sleep I lost during the week staying up late. Naps after a long week are the best medicine.

3. I had a really great dinner. I made a huge dinner salad with romaine, light Caesar, Parmesan, tomatoes, and diced chicken. It was definitely the most satisfying meal I could have, seeing that my fridge is running on empty because I’m trying to finish all the food I already have before move-out day.

4. I’ve become adapted to not having coffee this week. I haven’t had creamer for my coffee all week so I haven’t had any coffee, and therefore I haven’t been energy buzzed. I think, from time to time, it’s good to lay off the coffee. I think I’ll survive until move out day without it.

5. My mom makes me smile. She texts me all day long sending cute little emoticons and cheering me on when I’m in a bad mood. I really need that kind of support right now, but I know she’s asleep. She’ll cheer me up tomorrow, I bet. She always knows how to bring me up when I feel down like this.

6. I finally learned how to curl my hair. After burning myself countless times, I found a way to do it that gives me the results I like without third degree burns!!

7. My classes are finished, as of now. All I have left are exams and then I can come home and relax for a few months, which is definitely enough incentive to get me up and moving for these last couple of weeks. My motivation is dwindling, but getting to come home and see my family and friends is worth the work and struggle. I’ll get through this knowing they’re my reward.

8. I got to watch all my favorite vlogger’s new videos today, which always make me laugh. It’s good to see others happy when you’re down, because happiness is contagious in a way. The CTFxC and DLV are always my go-to’s when I need a good pick me up, because they’re just the happiest, most easygoing people. It shows me that there’s more to life than frustration, and that there’s a bright side no matter what the situation.

9. I’ve gotten much more traffic on my blog lately, which I am eternally grateful for!! The support and love I’ve gotten on this project in my life is incomparable, and it’d be nothing without all of you cheering me on alone the way. The WordPress community is a community of individuals that are driven my creativity and intellectual thought, and you’re all so stimulating to me. If I can provide anything to your lives through my writing, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. You guys all inspire me.

10. I’m actually going to hit the bed early tonight to avoid staying up and stressing over this. I think the sleep will get my head clear for the hard couple of weeks ahead of me, and prepare me to take on the challenges of efficiently studying for all of my exams. This sleep will really rejuvenate me and get me back on my optimistic thought train, which is an absolute must right now.

I hope you guys are having a better night than me, and remember, whatever situation you’re going through, there’s always something to be thankful for. Do your best to see the light, even in times of darkness. You got this. If I’ve got this, you’ve definitely got this.

Acceptance Comes with Time

acceptance wordle

I’ve learned to accept that there are going to be things in life that I won’t be able to change. As much as I don’t want to admit that I’ve accepted disappointment in the past, it was crucial for me to acknowledge the benefits that being accepting has brought upon my life. Here are some of the realizations that I have come to:

1. Not every relationship will work, because whether you like it or not, not everyone is compatible.

Love is something that is naturally there, but as people differ, so do our needs in a relationship. The importance of happiness in a relationship is extraordinary, but unfortunately not every relationship will fulfill those needs. It’s important to come to terms with the differences and find happiness in yourself when you find yourself alone. With or without your one true love, your life will inevitably go on.

I had to come to terms with this again today as I watched the new CTFxC video posted today, because I am truly in love with Charles and Alli as a couple. I’ve always been a fan of them as people and as a partnership, but then again, I was viewing their relationship from the outside looking in. I felt distraught by their decision to separate, but after a few minutes of thinking it over, it’s not my relationship. It’s theirs. If they find that their relationship is no longer happy, they need to rediscover happiness. It’s difficult to come to terms with as someone who’s followed all of their vlogs, but I know that the difficulties they’re enduring in the time of their separation is much more difficult than my sadness of their separation. They need to find happiness. I accept it and them as separate entities looking to move on.

2. Faking it until you make it doesn’t work with happiness.

It works with a lot of things, but the ability to experience happiness is developed and is a conscious process. You need to accept happiness into your life with open arms, even in times of hardship. It’s the only thing that can heal you from the pain you endure from sadness, disappointment, and suffering. Happiness leaves us believing that there are better things on the horizon, decreasing the significance of our little trips and falls along the way.

In the past, I have tried to “pretend” to be happy. I put pretend in quotations because it’s not like, at the time, I was incapable of happiness. I was just more miserable than happy.But once I started giving happiness the reins in my life, a world of possibility opened before me. Happiness can’t be faked, because with happiness comes more happiness. Bad fortune doesn’t cling to those who are satisfied with life.

3. Comparing yourself to another individual does not create any positive change within your own life, and will not make you better.

Although it can spark competitiveness that way benefit one, it can also leave the doors open to disappointment and discouragement in one’s own ability.Each individual has their own strengths.Don’t let the strengths of others make yours look miniscule.

This issue, I find, is very prominent in the educational years. We’re at an age, in college, where we’re battling to the death to get internships and even starting jobs. One little thing can make or break your presence in an interview and put your opportunity in someone else’s hands. Just know that there are so many opportunities available to students, and if one opportunity passes you by, there will be a handful of others following behind. It”s not the end of the world if someone else is better with group work, or has more of a creative streak. You got this! Be confident in your abilities, because you may have something over the next interviewee that they would kill to possess.

Daily Writing Prompt: Do you think that manipulation is at the core of our social interactions? Explain.

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I’ve always been deeply engaged in the existence of psychology within our lives. Human interaction occurs in a vast amount of ways, from the way that we maintain eye contact, to the way that we physically interact, with hand holding, handshakes, subtle touches, and other physical gestures. What comes with interaction is the ability to use actions to manipulate the actions or responses of another person, or several other people. Although the existence of manipulative behavior may seem as if it has a negative connotation, it can also have a positive influence amongst people. Yes, some individuals use manipulation for self gain at the expense of another’s feelings or goals, or out of the pleasure of feeling like they can “outsmart” or “dominate” their peers. However, manipulation can be utilized to positively impact the lives of others. For example, I had recently had a discussion with a close friend that was painfully worried about meeting her boyfriend’s parents because she was afraid that they would immediately judge her based upon her cover, long before they could explore the many pages of her wonderful personality. Knowing that she takes my opinions very seriously and cares significantly about our relationship, I assured her of her greatest qualities and comforted her in the thought that they will love her, because I truly believe they will. I used my influence on her to manipulate her thoughts about the situation at hand, and to bring it down to a rational level. Having the confidence of a friend standing behind you and lingering in your mind in moments of insecurity can give you a sense of not being alone in the moment, and I think that my reassurance gave her the confidence to give it a shot, despite her doubt. It turns out when she did meet his parents, they loved her from the very beginning. They couldn’t wait to meet her, and she felt like she was family right when entered their home. She had no reason to worry about what they would think, because on her own, she is an extraordinary person, with or without my confidence, but knowing that her good friend believed in her minimized the issue. That was an instance in which positive manipulation occurred because of influence.

Let me get down to the point here. Yes, I believe that manipulation is a significant part of our core interactions, but the power that is brought upon an individual with the persuasiveness to manipulate can be used in both positive and negative ways. It’s important to value yourself, but to also value the feelings and journeys of those around you in order to avoid destructive behavior that could potentially create a lose-lose situation for both parties.

This has been written from my own personal experiences within my life, and the situations I’ve observed.