Tag Archives: parents

The Terrible (And Relatively Tolerable) Truths About Being Twenty

Twenty. It’s an awkward age. And I thought I was awkward then. Psh. I’ve only blossomed. When I was younger, I always thought that twenty was going to be such a grand thing. I was going to have everything in my life together, wrapped neatly in a white picket fence and bow. Well, not yet, but on my way toward the like. But as a current twenty year old, I can honestly say that it isn’t as glamorous as it seems (self-kick to the childhood). Here are a few terrible truths about being twenty that I never would’ve even thought about as a kid, that I now know to be inevitably true. The fantasy has officially been extinguished.

new-job-blues_o_549008

1. Life: “You need to get your act together. You’re an ADULT. You need to have job experience. Nobody’s gonna take you seriously unless you start taking on more than your schedule can hold. Do it for ME–I mean….employers.” Love always, Your Parents (and supposedly your greatest support system. Hrm. It’s just tough love. Right? Riiiight?)

Reality Check: You’re too young to have a full-time occupation but still too old to “babysit”. At this point, it would just be weird (“You little slacker, you. Nobody’s gonna look at that babysitting job on your resume and say, “Wow, this kid’s a catch. He can whip up snacks and make sure kids don’t die while their parents “visit grandma for dinner”. Hurry, grab him while he’s still available. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY ARE YOU NOT ON THE PHONE WITH HIM AS WE SPEAK?! These qualifications are rare.”). If you’re not an intern for a major corporation by 20 (If you’re not already owning it by now, because you should really be trying to get ahead of the pack, you slacker), you’re the epitome of a failure. Embrace the failure stink. It’s all that you’ll ever know.

high-expectations-asian-father-meme-generator-stay-up-til-12-doing-homework-not-good-enough-stay-up-til-3-practice-math-2b0211

2. Life: “You know Josh? Do you remember little ol’ Josh? Well, Josh works for the FBI now–he’s in charge of the FBI–oh excuse me, he CREATED the FBI. And he’s only 19. And he’s also cured cancer, built homes for the poor, completely ended world hunger, and invented a flying car, all in one weekend. Could you imagine what he could do in two?! Josh was always such a good boy, but wow! Josh is so great now! Why can’t you be like Josh? You should call Josh. Hang out with Josh. Love Josh. Love him. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Joshjoshjoshjoshjosh….(“Josh” chant that leaves you in a state of eternal hell, kind of like the ending to the “Bill Nye the Science Guy” chant at the end of his intro. Ring a bell?)” (The name “Josh” is hypothetical, but I guess if you’re an awesome Josh, I’m talking about you, buddy. You’re making my parents and everyone with high expectations of me hate my freakin’ guts. Good job. HOPE YOU’RE PROUD.)

Reality Check: We all know a Josh. Ugh. Kinda wish he’d go away and take his Facebook full of all of his stupid milestones with him. He makes my own major accomplishments look like mere blips on the radar, and then I get verbally paddled (with a gentle voice occasionally to cushion the blow) because he’s the next young genius of geniuses in all of Geniusville. This is why Netflix exists. Not to entertain us (me). It’s so we (I) can wallow in our (my) disappointed existence because Josh ALREADY FIXED ALL THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS SO THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO DO. JOSH HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT, DOESN’T HE?! But think of it this way. Because of Josh and all of his perfections that you lack, your services are no longer needed. You’re free. Roam, my child.

bb6ibz

3. Life: “Here, have some homework. Wanna hang with friends? Here, have some homework. Got some dishes to do? How about some homework? Family is packing the van and driving for several hours, updating you every five seconds to ensure that you’re waiting at the apartment like a dog that hasn’t been fed in months, so they can see you for the first time in what feels like centuries? It’s a great time for a research paper that has to be a minimum (minimum. not maximum.) of 800 pages, single spaced, due obviously tonight. That’s enough time, right? That was rhetorical, by the way. Eh, who cares. I most certainly don’t care.” -Life

Reality Check: Any and every time you have plans, there will be some homework knocking on your door. True fact. The only way to fight against the buildup is to either get ahead or build a pillow fort out of your whole apartment and become a total shut in, avoid eye contact with your roommate who already thinks you’re a nutcase, and close off all connections to the real world. Nothing can come with you on this journey of seclusion. No laptop, no ipod, and no, not even the smart phone. That phone will know if you’re hiding, and it will notify all of your contacts (including Facebook friends, maybe even the ones you don’t like and don’t know why you ever added) that you’ve completely lost your marbles, as the newest feature of the newest iPhone obviously does. Before you know it, they’ll all come ruthlessly banging on your paper-thin door begging you to gather some sense. Just kidding. You’re gonna die alone in there. With a heavy head and an empty stomach. Nobody is going to realize you disappeared. All because you didn’t want to do your homework. Kinda seems silly now, doesn’t it? Just whip out the 800 page paper. It’ll only take you about an hour. Or a million hours. Something like that. I’m not good with numbers.

Parents: “See, Josh was never afraid to–“

Me: “SHUT UP. Just shut up”.

Parents: “But Josh always did his homework before it was due and he still managed to–“

*mysterious disappearance not caused by prior events/conversations at all but definitely by something else, yeah*

*Oh no, where did my parents go? Oh it was an accident. Oh it happened all of a sudden. Oh*

 Can you relate?

We can bask together. Share if you dare.

5 Lessons I’ve Personally Learned From Being in a Legitimately Serious Relationship

 I’ve come up with a list of 5 important lessons I’ve realized in the light of a serious relationship (Oh, and enjoy the gifs/pictures for emphasis).

May the truth set you free.

great

1. You’re gonna see a lot more out of your partner than you do in the “honeymoon phase”, the good, the bad, and the straight-up ugly. During that phase, you guys will be pulling chairs and opening doors like there’s no tomorrow, but of course, as time goes on, it will be accompanied by the occasional air-ripping burp. It’s inevitable. Welcome it with open arms because it will come barging through the door with or without your welcome sign. This is when you will rationally realize that we are all human, even your boyfriend!

tumblr_lmsmz3MZyX1qgvb3l

2. You’re going to fight. You’re gonna have the kind of fights that are going to make you want to rip your partner’s hair out from the scalp sometimes, and it’s normal. Yes, I repeat. It is a normal thing. It’s overwhelmingly boring to be with someone exactly like you with your exact same opinions, but what comes with differences comes arguing sometimes. It’s a worthy trade, trust me. Opinionated people are a treat to be around, whether they agree with your love for religiously watching Pretty Little Liars or not.

my-face-when

3. Being close with your significant other’s parents creates a world of good within your relationship (that is, if they actually like you). Not only can you rely on them to help you plan surprises for your love, but in my traditional little way of thinking, they are part of the approval process if a couple wants to take their relationship to the next level (their opinions in your relationship matter, too!). Why not start from the top, right? Plus, who knows your man and all of his strange quirks better than they do? They can show you all of his cutest, most horrifying pictures from his childhood AND treat him to a sweet dose of reality if he won’t listen to your word and needs an uninhibited opinion. It’s a two-for-one deal.

236871

4. Holding on to anger is a double-ended sword. You spend all this time letting an issue fester within your mind and build up to tremendous heights, and then your partner ends up dealing with the blown-out-of-proportion version that has swallowed the truth and spit it out into something it clearly wasn’t before. It started as an annoyance that he canceled plans one night, and ended up being interpreted as an exclamation of hatred that resulted in your partner canceling all of your plans together because you claim he’d rather spend some time with anyone but you (which is kinda ridiculous, seeing as how he is romantically entangled with you). *shrugs* By the end point, you don’t even know what you were truly and originally angry about. Keeping communication lines open prevents the bullcrap of reiterating an, at this point irrelevant and unnecessary, problem.

auto-memes-willywonka-relationship-199284

5. Enjoy every moment. I’m feeling like I’m bringing up a hardcore cliche right here, but hear me out. Every unexpected bump in the road is a test for your relationship to overcome, and each time it does, the reality hits that your partner wants this just as much as you do, which is one of the best feelings in the entire world. Don’t take a single moment for granted. This is your free pass to be disgustingly sweet (emphasis on the disgusting part) with your significant other. Go ahead and post a ten page love letter on Facebook. He deserves the affectionate embarrassment haunting his news feed as a reminder for months to come of all the weird TMI stuff you love about him. In some other dimension, he may be highly appreciative of this much needed public announcement of overemphasized, stomach-churning adoration.

5 Thoughts that Occur in the Closing Days of Finals Week

Now that my second year of college has finally come to a close, I wanted to share the thoughts that I find are very common during these anxiety-filled closing days of the semester. We’re all stressed, and therefore everything seems like a much larger task than it actually is. But the incentive of summer is well worth the sleepless nights and unsightly exam attire that precedes it.

What are your exam week thoughts?

5ba7df9f58e42b9f30ebb4f4da9b10dfe8d8b6ec367640f4f3f53c2456205f3a

1. Another early morning AGAIN? Do I really have to set an alarm hours early for another morning exam? I don’t even want to get out of bed. I don’t want to move. Wow, my sheets feel so nice right now. I wish they’d engulf me. My eyes are closing….Oh no….maybe it can snooze for another hour….Yeah, I can afford that….I’ve kinda studi…..studied……*passes out*

2. I don’t want to put on clothes. I don’t want to get cute today. Where’s my makeup?….I don’t need makeup….Sweatpants it is…..Baggy jacket? Sounds good, too. Mmm…..I feel like I haven’t gotten out of bed, in all these comfy clothes….I wish I could just sink into them….disappear in their fluffy goodness…..

3. It’s been a whole 10 minutes of nonstop studying. I think I deserve a snack….Maybe I could browse Facebook a little bit…..it couldn’t hurt…..Wow, this looks like a funny video….This reminds me. I haven’t watched my show in a while, and they have a new season on Netflix, too! Okay, one episode, only one….*finishes episode* Wait, Jack did what? No. No. No no no no no. I need to know what happens…. *repeat process of procrastination for the next three hours*

4. I studied. I feel confident. I’ll pass with an A. *gets into test room* I know I’ll get at least a B. *tests are passed out, and you start to feel butterflies in your stomach* As long as I pass this exam, I’ll be good……

5. Exams are done. I can breathe. I can finally breathe. Everything is great. *gets text from parents explaining when they’re coming to pick up you and your packed apartment* Oh no. That’s what I was missing. My room…..it’s a mess, all of it…….THEY’RE COMING TOMORROW. NOTHING IS PACKED. WHERE’S MY PACKING SQUAD? CAN WE RAINCHECK? OH GOD, IS THIS SERIOUSLY ALL ON ME? (Yes, yes it is)