People will tell you that you should never base your self-worth on those that surround you, because there will be times when they will let you down and times they will take a shot at your feelings due to their own circumstances, and your first assumption will be that it is because YOU are not worth their time, or YOU are not worth their effort. It’s difficult to not let how others treat you affect the way you perceive yourself. Recent events have let those kinds of destructive thoughts creep into my own head, which I had persistently blocked for a very long time. I began thinking that I wasn’t worth the time, the effort, the sacrifice, the love, the respect, and the understanding it takes to be in a relationship, a friendship, anything. The issue is that the negative forces in our lives take so much of a toll on us personally that they end up overwhelming the positive forces, and I can’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge this when it happened in my own life recently. I know that I am worth so much more than I have been given credit for in the past. I am not my unhappy experiences, my failures, my pain, my sadness, my inabilities, my projected worth…I am so much more.
That is why I believe that you are good enough, too. You may have had a horrible day, week, even year. But you know what? Things are going to get better, for both you and I. I may not even know you, but I can tell you that you can’t base your perception of YOUR worth on how people treat you. People are selfish and sometimes they don’t even mean to be. But they can be, and sometimes they are. Who’s to say that the way they conduct their lives and treat others reflects how you should be treated and how much you’re worth as an individual? You’re not a toy that they can just play with when they’ve got a moment to spare, and then put on the shelf. You’re not their pet, relying on them for the quality of your own life. You are a person with feelings, ambitions, vulnerabilities in combination with strengths. You’re unique in all aspects of your life and there will never be someone just like you, someone rich in the qualities that you possess in the exact same way. So you know what? Ditch the negative people, the hurtful memories, the times you’ve fallen on your face so hard you thought you’d never get back up, the underestimations people have of you, the disappointment people in their own lives that has somehow been projected upon your own life… Forget how people have made you feel. You’re incredible, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that happiness, that ability to feel alive and love yourself and the world around you, away from you. You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and excited about your life, and those who don’t agree, don’t deserve to be a part of YOU.
You’re incredible, and no matter who you are, where you are, how people have hurt you in the past, what you think you’re worth, if I know you or not, you deserve to be happy and you are loved. Tremendously, genuinely, honestly, respectfully…
You are loved.
Posted in Advice, Thoughts
Tagged boyfriends, breakups, confidence, exes, experiences, friends, friendships, girlfriends, giving up, growth, happiness, hurt, letter to you, life, loss, lost friends, love, memories, negative people, negativity, pain, people, personal, positivity, relationships, respect, sadness, self worth, strength, suffering, understanding, unhappy, worth
Confronted with the past, we often stand down. We let it consume us, devour the current day and age with regrets of moments we can no longer change. Moments that have passed us.
I won’t stand down. I won’t cry, or regret, or reminisce about the “good ol’ days”. I won’t second guess myself or humor myself with a different outcome that could’ve potentially changed the course of my memories. Today is today, and holds its own potential.
There are moments in my past that I wish I would’ve appreciated then, as I cannot appreciate them in the same magnitude as my memories begin to fade and distort with time. What music was playing at that moment? Who was there? What were their facial expressions? Were they happy, hurt, longing, anxious? Do these little details even matter anymore?
They matter when you think back, but in the moment of the experience, you’re drawn to see the big picture. The details fade into the backdrop and become minuscule, only to arise to the surface in bits and pieces later on, often in unwelcome nostalgic spurts. The concepts are still alive and well and the meaning behind the memories of our past still stands but I’m choosing to pack up these boxes and dispose of the feelings that once gave me happiness but have lately weighed heavily upon my soul. I’ve been progressively releasing my attachment to these moments as they don’t serve my life positively anymore.
I choose to live in the now, but that’s not to say that the time I spent prior to the current day is inconsequential, the experiences I’ve gathered are meaningless. They matter, however some things you cannot change once all interaction has been exhausted, connections have been tampered with and broken, and the passions that you had grown to love, that had once lingered and given you comfort, have grown stale. I’ve grown to accept the shortcomings, regrets, hurt of my past and hope that the future holds better days with even greater joys.
Here is to life, to a new year full of opportunity and lessons to be learned. Here is to new laughs, triumphs, friendships, experiences. To growth, improvement, realizations, creativity, and an awakened zest for all the little things life holds in store.
May this year bring change that exudes confidence towards an even more exciting and fulfilling future, and may the skeletons of our memories be laid to rest. It’s time to move forward.
Posted in Personal
Tagged 2014, 2015, experiences, final thoughts, friendships, growing, growth, hurt, learning, memories, moving forward, moving on, new experiences, new memories, new year, new years eve, pain, personal, regretting, relationships, sadness, strength
…Giving me a bite of your burrito bowl when I know you’re internally begging me to decline.
…Donating the one napkin you have at the dinner table at a restaurant to your messy partner.
…Leaving notes around the house that make me equal parts endeared and nauseous.
…Handling my heart as gently as if it were your own.
…Setting all aside to hear what I have to say, even if it’s not in your favor and it’s not what you want to hear.
…Pushing yourself to force a laugh out of your partner even at the expense of your dignity in public.
…Cooking a meal that you know will cut into your Netflix time so I can come home to a meal on the table.
…Smiling for me when I feel like the weight of my day has left me with a permanent frown.
…Kissing me on the nose or forehead when I’m feeling as if I have been emotionally abandoned by those who surround me.
…Sharing something that’s only meant for one, just because you know that it can be split between two.
…Making promises and consciously exceeding them because you can.
…Dreaming about the future with me because you know that I’m a dreamer.
…Bringing forward your playful side to expose your partner’s inner child in times when I feel like I can’t get out of my head.
…Using your two hands and hugging me in a way that makes me feel like I’m engulfed in your embrace.
…Initiating a late-night call to reiterate what the day had to offer, but to ultimately tell your partner that they are what you still dream about.
…Knowing when to end an argument and settle at your differences.
…Determining a positive approach in the shadow of negativity.
…Choosing to cherish your partner’s flaws as if they were their perfections.
…Being a best friend and lover all perfectly wrapped into one kindhearted, genuine entity.
What is love to you?
Posted in Gratefulness, My Writing, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts
Tagged approach, arguments, chances, choices, choosing, chosen, connection, differences, dignity, dreaming, genuine, grateful, happiness, intimacy, love, loving, outlook, personal, positivity, promises, relationships, sharing, smiling, sweet, taken, thoughtful, thoughts
I’ve come up with a list of 5 important lessons I’ve realized in the light of a serious relationship (Oh, and enjoy the gifs/pictures for emphasis).
May the truth set you free.
1. You’re gonna see a lot more out of your partner than you do in the “honeymoon phase”, the good, the bad, and the straight-up ugly. During that phase, you guys will be pulling chairs and opening doors like there’s no tomorrow, but of course, as time goes on, it will be accompanied by the occasional air-ripping burp. It’s inevitable. Welcome it with open arms because it will come barging through the door with or without your welcome sign. This is when you will rationally realize that we are all human, even your boyfriend!
2. You’re going to fight. You’re gonna have the kind of fights that are going to make you want to rip your partner’s hair out from the scalp sometimes, and it’s normal. Yes, I repeat. It is a normal thing. It’s overwhelmingly boring to be with someone exactly like you with your exact same opinions, but what comes with differences comes arguing sometimes. It’s a worthy trade, trust me. Opinionated people are a treat to be around, whether they agree with your love for religiously watching Pretty Little Liars or not.
3. Being close with your significant other’s parents creates a world of good within your relationship (that is, if they actually like you). Not only can you rely on them to help you plan surprises for your love, but in my traditional little way of thinking, they are part of the approval process if a couple wants to take their relationship to the next level (their opinions in your relationship matter, too!). Why not start from the top, right? Plus, who knows your man and all of his strange quirks better than they do? They can show you all of his cutest, most horrifying pictures from his childhood AND treat him to a sweet dose of reality if he won’t listen to your word and needs an uninhibited opinion. It’s a two-for-one deal.
4. Holding on to anger is a double-ended sword. You spend all this time letting an issue fester within your mind and build up to tremendous heights, and then your partner ends up dealing with the blown-out-of-proportion version that has swallowed the truth and spit it out into something it clearly wasn’t before. It started as an annoyance that he canceled plans one night, and ended up being interpreted as an exclamation of hatred that resulted in your partner canceling all of your plans together because you claim he’d rather spend some time with anyone but you (which is kinda ridiculous, seeing as how he is romantically entangled with you). *shrugs* By the end point, you don’t even know what you were truly and originally angry about. Keeping communication lines open prevents the bullcrap of reiterating an, at this point irrelevant and unnecessary, problem.
5. Enjoy every moment. I’m feeling like I’m bringing up a hardcore cliche right here, but hear me out. Every unexpected bump in the road is a test for your relationship to overcome, and each time it does, the reality hits that your partner wants this just as much as you do, which is one of the best feelings in the entire world. Don’t take a single moment for granted. This is your free pass to be disgustingly sweet (emphasis on the disgusting part) with your significant other. Go ahead and post a ten page love letter on Facebook. He deserves the affectionate embarrassment haunting his news feed as a reminder for months to come of all the weird TMI stuff you love about him. In some other dimension, he may be highly appreciative of this much needed public announcement of overemphasized, stomach-churning adoration.
Posted in Advice, Memory, My Writing, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts
Tagged adoration, advice, appreciation, arguments, blown out of proportion, boyfriend, cute, different opinions, fights, girlfriend, grudges, guilt, humor, learned, lessons on life, life, life lessons, love, memories, memory, opinionated, opinions, parents, personal, relationships, sarcasm, sweet, thoughts
The majority of them revolve around love triangles, pursuing love, and cheating (specifically with people that are romantically linked with close friends), accompanied by crappy and overly dramatic instrumental music, countless tears, and exaggerated facial and hand gestures. I wish that the destination of the characters was more complex. In the real world, we’re not all just “looking for love” or looking to ruin the romantic relationships of others. We’re looking for love (some of us, at least), yes, but we’re also attending college, working to pay for our necessities and desires, pursuing our dreams, challenging ourselves in new and exciting ways, and idealistically (hopefully) grabbing the world by the balls. I think this is part of the reason why I immediately flip the channel when I see Soaps on the tv. It’s such mindless fluff….What do the characters do other than stir up drama? What do they want in life?
Life does not revolve around love, but love sure does make for a better life. If shows were to follow that statement and have independent, compelling characters, I’d be right on board. But these shows don’t stimulate me. They just provoke me.
What are your thoughts?
Posted in Personal, Rant, Thoughts
Tagged behavior, betrayal, broken friendships, cheating, cheesy, dramatic, fluff, friendships, hilarious, interest, love triangles, mindless shows, opinion, personal, poor acting, relationships, shows, soap operas, television, television shows, thoughts, tv, ugly, unrealistic
Good for you. Just…great…..Why make it a calm, reasonable, private affair when you can have viewers laughing hysterically and screaming angrily at their TV screens, trying to rationalize how stupid you are?! What makes a public separation between two people who are clearly too outspoken and sassy for their own good (and the good of their relationship as a long-term commitment) even remotely enjoyable to the masses?
What are your thoughts? Enlighten me.
Posted in Personal, Relationships, Thoughts
Tagged advertised, couples, couples fighting, crazy, crazy couples, divorce, divorce court, dumb, fighting, fighting on tv, marriage, overrated, privacy, relationships, ridiculous, rocky couples, separation, stupid shows, tv shows